Jogging Humor Pillows

'Let 'em go. They're joggers. Nothing but gristle and bones.'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

LOOK BHIND U!

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'Are we having fun yet?'

Fork in the trail.

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Kick me

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'Look Dad - bigfoot!'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"Downward facing dog"

5. Install all equipment carefully. 6. Never increase the weight load of any exercise machine when you are by yourself.

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

"Yeah, I'm a Roadrunner, but it is easier on my feet and joints if I run on the grass..."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"Do you hear dueling tubas?"

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.