Jogging Jokers Gifts

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

'I'll give you twenty bucks for your panties!'

Death Goes For A Jog

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

Literal Following of Directions: RUN

.00005k run

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Jogging Bottoms

Women in a cross country race

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

Photobooth Photobomb

"I hate this time of year."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

'Are we having fun yet?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

False encouragement.

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."