Jogger Jokers Gifts

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Bed Spread"

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Jogging Bottoms

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Photobooth Photobomb

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

False encouragement.

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'