Humorist Jogger Gifts

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Jogging Bottoms

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"I hate this time of year."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'Are we having fun yet?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

False encouragement.

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

Please seat to be weighted.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

Tred carefully mill.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

Running With Scissors Marathon

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Two men are jogging. One is noticing 'Danger Wide Load' sign on back of other.