Ironic Jogger Gifts

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

City Marathon.

Keep Fit.

Jogging Bottoms

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"I hate this time of year."

Running

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'Are we having fun yet?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Cross-country knitting.

False encouragement.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'