Ironic Marathoner Gifts

The Paula Ratcliffe: 'Think I might do the London Marathon next year.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Storm in the out tray

Surfing the daily stress

'Your shoe's untied.'

Go! Means NOW!

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

'Are we having fun yet?'

People liked running things past Michael.

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

"Well they say everyone has a book in them."

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

'Tortoise beats Hare...subject to performance enhancing drug test results.'

Henry followed the dress code at inappropriate times.

Marathon runners in silly costumes.

'Good morning, Doctor! I wonder if you'd mind taking a look at this pup.'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

'You'll never see me out jogging.'

I survived the layoffs, but now I'm seizing the days of three people.

I can't believe it - I've made it again!!!

Caution.

'I couldn't break 100, so I bought new clubs and took lessons and now I can't break 120!'

'Once the endorphins kick in, it's like Heaven.'

'On your mark...'

'The deceased was a member of their running club.'

"How did the marathon go?"

Ophidiophobic Society 10k Run.

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

"Looks like the trains aren't running again."

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'

"I don't think I can make the finish line, so I'm going back!"