Literary Marathoner Gifts

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

The Dorrie Decimal System

Voltaire

'Your shoe's untied.'

'He likes to power nap.'

Surfing the daily stress

Blue Stockings

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Bookworm Sleepover

"Now I really hate poetry."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"Well, we needed the rain."

Don Quixote

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Author does not do tricks."

"Oh, this old thing?"

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"