Literary Jogger Gifts

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Introducing...Anagraman.

City Marathon.

7 brownies worth of exercise.

Robber on treadmill

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

Health

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

'Are we having fun yet?'

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

Cross-country knitting.

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

'Here comes the 7:15...'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."

Sir, do you claim your new vitamin water has negative calories? Weight loss guaranteed. Want some? Just an explanation of how it works. You drink it, you lose weight. Simple. Also, you have to drink it while jogging or exercising vigorously for at least 30 minutes. Does it work for regulators from the Federal Trade Commission? Run away.

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

Caution falling books

'That's my jogging suit.'

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."