Ironic Joggers Gifts

'You'll never see me out jogging.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Keep Fit.

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

'Are we having fun yet?'

Cross-country knitting.

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

'Let 'em go. They're joggers. Nothing but gristle and bones.'

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

"I get lot's of exercise, computer football, computer cricket and computer rugby."

The Paula Ratcliffe: 'Think I might do the London Marathon next year.'

Jesus Feeds the 5K

'Once the endorphins kick in, it's like Heaven.'

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

"I've notices a HUGE improvement in my endurance. Last night I made four trips to the buffet table and I wasn't even winded."

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'

'That's all the runners except one. ... We'd better go check on him.'

"We caught him exercising at a rest stop."

Death Goes For A Jog