Ironic Joggers Gifts

'You'll never see me out jogging.'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Keep Fit.

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'Are we having fun yet?'

Cross-country knitting.

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

'Let 'em go. They're joggers. Nothing but gristle and bones.'

The Gentle Art of Not Running.

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

"I get lot's of exercise, computer football, computer cricket and computer rugby."

The Paula Ratcliffe: 'Think I might do the London Marathon next year.'

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

Jesus Feeds the 5K

'Once the endorphins kick in, it's like Heaven.'

Death Goes For A Jog

'I'm downloading an exercise manual.'

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'

Literal Following of Directions: RUN

"I've notices a HUGE improvement in my endurance. Last night I made four trips to the buffet table and I wasn't even winded."

Ophidiophobic Society 10k Run.