Sporting Jokester Gifts

'You know the rules Fanshawe ----both bloody feet on the floor'

"They're specially designed to fly farther when thrown."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

Cleaning the Horse

'Has anyone seen my contact?'

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

Pommel Horse Poops.

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

Doctor Jekyll. Whenever I get stuck formulating my potion, I go jogging. You can run, but you can't Hyde!

Jurassic Par.

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

'Vodka!'

"She may have an incredible body, but we have incredible ice cream."