Sporting Jokester Gifts

'You know the rules Fanshawe ----both bloody feet on the floor'

"They're specially designed to fly farther when thrown."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Cleaning the Horse

'Has anyone seen my contact?'

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

Pommel Horse Poops.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

'Saint Francis changes his mind about animals'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

'Vodka!'

"She may have an incredible body, but we have incredible ice cream."

Baseball says to prankster basketball: You're such a joker.

'Obesity runs in my family...Actually, it shuffles in my family.'