Sporty Jokester Gifts

Squash.

Really bad bowler. This your ball?

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

Caddie in a bag.

'Reminds me of my first wife - finds it hard to let go...'

golf

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Golfer with the number 4 on his shirt

'I don't mind the odd bite from him - but LOVE bites?'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Men dancing

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Cleaning the Horse

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

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