Sportive Humorist Gifts

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

The Hockey World

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!