Sports Humorists Gifts

Doc told me I have brain damage. As my manager responsible for this, it's time for me to damage yours!

Bobsled Police.

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

'Let's talk steroids.'

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

Bizarre score cards, number 9

Goal Post Ape.

'Do I go to your place of work and criticize you?'

"I tell ya champ, you're wasting your time trying to hit him in the head."

Jogi Loew - His Secret Tactics for 2024. . .

"That's Tom, he spends most of his game in the water hazards."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football