Sports Comedist Gifts

Referee penalises footballer for using a tissue.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Alternative fielding positions

"How should we divide the teams?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

The Hockey World

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions