Sports Comedian Gifts

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?'

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'These new uniforms should confuse the heck out of the opposition.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

The squirrels were serious about winning the pond hockey tournament this year...

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'That's an interesting point. If they're both on the same team, is it a penalty?'

Prison Croquet Team

'No wait. It's not the end of the round. It's just my mobile ringing.'

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

Cow Volleyball

Oops

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

The goalkeeper puts up a wall of bricks

Champions biting their medals

'Coach finds it hard to believe that I started out as the fastest of a hundred thousand sperm.'

'You're accused of punching, gouging, biting and stomping.'

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

A golfer sizing up his putt, with the Grim Reaper sizing up the golfer.

'I said, 'quick, fill it up with sand!'"

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

"Keep your shape at the back...."

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'Sorry.'

'Time out!'

'We kept him in the penalty box too long. He's developed Stockholm Syndrome.'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

He's not breaking any rules if that's hand sanitizer.

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake