Athletic Comedian Gifts

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Reminds me of my first wife - finds it hard to let go...'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Extreme miming"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Alternative fielding positions

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Fast Food Dieter

Footballer kicking his own brain.