Comedy Athlete Gifts

Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

"How should we divide the teams?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

Champions biting their medals

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'Go deep.'

Football Violence

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

Hot dog.

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

Bobsled Police.

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

'That's an interesting point. If they're both on the same team, is it a penalty?'

Prison Croquet Team

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

"Keep your shape at the back...."

10 reasons why cricket is not a real sport.

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"