Humorous Athlete Gifts

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

'She's in training for the Olympics. The 100 metre sprint to the checkout.'

'Go deep.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

The Hockey World

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions