Athletic Humor Gifts

'And in lane four, representing Battersea Dogs Home...'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

Alternative fielding positions

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

Trojan Hurdler.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Skate or die."

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

The best goalie in the world!

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions