Joking Athlete Gifts

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Pete Sampras

"How should we divide the teams?"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

Football Violence

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Go deep.'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Hot dog.

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

10 reasons why cricket is not a real sport.

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

Pommel Horse Poops.

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

Track & Field & Stream magazine

The Pole Vault Washing Line

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

Joe shoots his best scores with his graphite shaft!

"This is called silent tennis? It's like regular tennis without the racket."

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.

"Hands are much more capable of efficiently directing a ball into a net!"

The Club Singles Duel.