Sporty Humorist Gifts

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'I'd get the strings tightened.'

"I'm not a huge football fan but who doesn't love the Superball, right?!"

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

Football fan playing golf.

The Pole Vault Washing Line

Man kicking a car.

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"How should we divide the teams?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

The Hockey World

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.