Sporty Humorist Gifts

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

'I'd get the strings tightened.'

"I'm not a huge football fan but who doesn't love the Superball, right?!"

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

Football fan playing golf.

The Pole Vault Washing Line

Man kicking a car.

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"How should we divide the teams?"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'