Sporting Events Humorist Gifts

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

The Hockey World

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'