Sports Event Humorist Gifts

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'