Sports Event Humorist Gifts

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

The Hockey World

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'