Sports Humorist Gifts

'Your serves are great. Ground strokes, superb. It's your foot faults that are killing you.'

It was in that instant that Wendell began to regret his decision not to get breast implants.

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

"We lost!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident."

'Kinda bumpy eh? We must be in the rough!'

"Underarm! Underarm!"

'He's right. We screwed up.'

Pole Vault (Man running up with a ladder).

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"Quiet please...the players are about to begin grunting."

The Dangers of Golf.

'Now this time, just for the heck of it, try releasing that sucker a little sooner,'

"He only became an umpire to hide his bald spot and his big pot!"

'How'd you wind up with two batons?'

'Aw, come on ref - that was a dive...!'

Pitcher auditions.

"In future you should leave the 'Between the leg' shots to Andy Murray!"

Butterfly race.

"The Hare's demanding a dope test !"

'Hey, I'm no orthopaedic surgeon - know what I'm sayin'? But this can't be good.'

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

'Does it hurt the team's chances of winning a championship when I move your leg like this?'

London Olympics 2012: Congestion Charges Apply Lanes 1, 2 and 3.

"How 'bout them brakes, huh?"

"First, I'd like to blame the Lord for causing us to lose today."

"Ooh, scrummy!"

Rugby player with a convenient toilet in the goal posts

'Why are you sending us off?' - 'For fighting about who won the toss.'

Women Golfers.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

Brian fails a random rug test!

Baseball signs.

'Hold it. I see your problem.'