Sports Humorist Gifts

'Your serves are great. Ground strokes, superb. It's your foot faults that are killing you.'

It was in that instant that Wendell began to regret his decision not to get breast implants.

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

"We lost!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident."

'Kinda bumpy eh? We must be in the rough!'

"Underarm! Underarm!"

Pole Vault (Man running up with a ladder).

'He's right. We screwed up.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

The Dangers of Golf.

"Quiet please...the players are about to begin grunting."

'Now this time, just for the heck of it, try releasing that sucker a little sooner,'

"He only became an umpire to hide his bald spot and his big pot!"

"In future you should leave the 'Between the leg' shots to Andy Murray!"

'Aw, come on ref - that was a dive...!'

'How'd you wind up with two batons?'

"First, I'd like to blame the Lord for causing us to lose today."

'Hey, I'm no orthopaedic surgeon - know what I'm sayin'? But this can't be good.'

Butterfly race.

"The Hare's demanding a dope test !"

'Does it hurt the team's chances of winning a championship when I move your leg like this?'

Rugby player with a convenient toilet in the goal posts

"How 'bout them brakes, huh?"

London Olympics 2012: Congestion Charges Apply Lanes 1, 2 and 3.

"Ooh, scrummy!"

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

Women Golfers.

Brian fails a random rug test!

'It's a calf injury.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Hold it. I see your problem.'

The longest tennis match in history at Wimbledon.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'