Sports Comedy Gifts

'Last lap, Jimmy! Dig deep! Make your move! And please stop running like that!'

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'

Discus accidents.

'Now, Perkins, hit my ball straight down the fairway for about 300 yards.'

The Header

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Dedication to excellence....

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

The best goalie in the world!

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'