Comedy In Sports Gifts

'Sit down, Roger! You're creating drag.'

Dedication to excellence....

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

"Skate or die."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

The best goalie in the world!

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

Champions biting their medals

Golf escape.

Ref shows footballer green card.

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

Bobsled Police.

"Keep your shape at the back...."

Discus accidents.

'That's an interesting point. If they're both on the same team, is it a penalty?'

Prison Croquet Team

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'