Workout Jokester Gifts

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

"Since I've been coming here, I've lost pounds. £150 to be exact!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

Robber on treadmill

"I hate this time of year."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'I'm pretty sure this thing wasn't a @$#%& health hazard when I was drying my underwear on it!'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

Please seat to be weighted.

Gym. Trainer. What's with this "burning calories"? Why can't we just lightly toast them?

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.