Fitness Jokester Gifts

Rodney kicked off his fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control...this was not enough.

'Frank keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took 8 months to do it in.'

'Oh great, we break down in the middle of nowhere and the only spare tyre we have is the one around your waist!'

Aerobbery.

"We have a new exercise routine. I moved the refrigerator to the basement and the TV to the attic."

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'Wow! Too bad for you tail-wagging isn't an aerobic exercise!'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'My workout plan is pretty simple: after 12 pints, I'm going down. I'm sobering up and get up with a push-up. Then, I have 12 pints...'

'It's the only exercise he gets these days. Fly swotting'.

"I hired a personal trainer."

Mrs. Peter Cottontail: 'Forget the diets, Fran. If you want a smaller rear end, wash in hot water and set the dryer on higher.'

"According to my calculations, if I hadn't have had those three fag breaks, I would have made four forty seven."

"And I just found out I've been sitting backwards on the Ab Cruncher for months!"

"I've just spent half an hour on an exercise bike."

"All the crunches in the world aren't going to help. Face it, you're a pot-bellied pig."

"I'm glad to see you've finally started using the treadmill."

"My activity tracker is programmed to understand the need for cookie breaks."

'Been over doing the yoga again, I see.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'Doctor, my bike's got saddle-pain!'

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

'You've really got to get over your fear of exercising in public.'

'That treadmill was used only one time, I swear.'

I don't care how much your legs move, dreaming of chasing squirrles in not sufficient exercise!

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Bench Press Accident