Fitness Jokers Gifts

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

LA: 'I'm going to be late- the moving stairs broke down.'

I need something to hold my tummy in

"Was it something I said?"

I'm feeling a bit sluggish to tell you the truth!

'Be advised, son - learn the difference between a come-on and isometrics.'

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

Circular Walk.

"Good news! You're in a great condition for a man of 60!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

"Still on your left."

Ants stealing from the picnic.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

Jeff was watching his weight.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."