Fitness Jokesters Gifts

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'I'm pretty sure this thing wasn't a @$#%& health hazard when I was drying my underwear on it!'

"Still on your left."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'