Fitness Humorists Gifts

'When we dated, most of his body was athletic. Now he's down to just athlete's foot.'

"The reason I feel run-down is because I ..was run down by a car while jogging!"

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

Treadmills at fast food restaurants

"I'm packing in the jogging. It's affecting my health."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Animal Aerobics

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

City Health Club - Ask about our no more than necessary exercise class.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Still on your left."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

Please seat to be weighted.

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Check out my six pack.

The Three Billy Goats Buffed

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'