Fitness Guru Humorist Gifts

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Still on your left."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Please seat to be weighted.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

Pontius Pilates

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Check out my six pack.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.