Fitness Journey Humorist Gifts

'Do you have to be so darn specific?'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"Still on your left."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

Please seat to be weighted.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'