Fitness Humor Gifts

'I'd help you but I'm ergonomically challenged.'

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Check out my six pack.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Still on your left."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Jeff was watching his weight.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

"I'm beached body ready."

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

Tred carefully mill.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Pontius Pilates