Fitness Humor Gifts

'I'd help you but I'm ergonomically challenged.'

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Check out my six pack.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

Pontius Pilates

Tred carefully mill.

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!