Fitness Humor Fan Gifts

"...I broke four more floorboards at the keep fit class."

'You have a lot of nerve, telling the Defense Department to get 'lean and mean'!'

'It's something we think today's kids will be able to relate to - Inaction Figures.'

"Let me guess, you're not into sports, are you?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

Old Karate Master

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Health

"Still on your left."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Pontius Pilates

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Check out my six pack.

Plan B