Fitness Fan's Humor Gifts

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Keep Fit.

Old Karate Master

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Health

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

Check out my six pack.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

Snowman with tree-trunk arms.

attorney at law

"Your health insurance only kicks in when you can run 100m in under 10 seconds."

'Like it'll do any good.'

Muscle Music.

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

'Nice! But I call that the 'incredibly impossible forward bend'!'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

Elephant chases peanut on stick while running on treadmill.

'Now they're saying exercise doesn't cure depression.'

Sports centre lift.

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

"No matter how much I workout, my arms still look sticks."

Aquarobics.