Satirical Fitness Fan Gifts

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

"Hey, about those steroids you sold me. . ."

Yoga for Alcoholics

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Old Karate Master

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Fast Food Dieter

Health

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

No use being self-conscious

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

Snowman with tree-trunk arms.

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

attorney at law

'Nice! But I call that the 'incredibly impossible forward bend'!'

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

Elephant chases peanut on stick while running on treadmill.

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

Sports centre lift.

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

home fitness/fatness

'I can't use it...I can't afford the gym membership!'

Prescription Diet

"Let's fight obesity - left leg up..."