Fitness Satirist Gifts

Fat Man in Sportswear.

His six pack must be all of six hundred-plus nowadays!

Prescription Diet

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Still on your left."

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

Check out my six pack.

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

Pontius Pilates

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."