Fitness Satire Enthusiast Gifts

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Still on your left."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

Check out my six pack.

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Pontius Pilates

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

"You were right, we should've used a smaller medicine ball."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.