Satirical Fitness Enthusiast Gifts

home fitness/fatness

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Keep Fit.

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

Check out my six pack.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

attorney at law

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

'Like it'll do any good.'

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'Now they're saying exercise doesn't cure depression.'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

"And for exercise, I walk around the block a few times every day."

Phone buff.

'The only exercise I'm getting is when I run amok.'

Broadband developments

"Let me guess, you're not into sports, are you?"

His six pack must be all of six hundred-plus nowadays!