Fitness Satirists Gifts

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Tred carefully mill.

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

'No peeking!!' - Learn to Run Classes.

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Pontius Pilates

Check out my six pack.

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

'Swimming back to the mainland to see some football game is stupid. Besides you're so out of shape, you wouldn't get 10 feet.'