Fitness Satirists Gifts

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Still on your left."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Check out my six pack.

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Tred carefully mill.

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

'No peeking!!' - Learn to Run Classes.

Pontius Pilates

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

'Swimming back to the mainland to see some football game is stupid. Besides you're so out of shape, you wouldn't get 10 feet.'

"You were right, we should've used a smaller medicine ball."