Fitness Satirist Pillows

Fat Man in Sportswear.

His six pack must be all of six hundred-plus nowadays!

Prescription Diet

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Jeff was watching his weight.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Check out my six pack.

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Pontius Pilates