Fitness Humorists Pillows

'When we dated, most of his body was athletic. Now he's down to just athlete's foot.'

"The reason I feel run-down is because I ..was run down by a car while jogging!"

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

Treadmills at fast food restaurants

"I'm packing in the jogging. It's affecting my health."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Animal Aerobics

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

City Health Club - Ask about our no more than necessary exercise class.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Please seat to be weighted.

Jeff was watching his weight.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Pontius Pilates

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups