Fitness Fans With Humor Gifts

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Keep Fit.

Old Karate Master

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Health

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Check out my six pack.

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

attorney at law

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"This recliner comes with a fitness tracker."

Muscle Music.

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

"No matter how much I workout, my arms still look sticks."

City Health Club - Ask about our no more than necessary exercise class.

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

Aquarobics.

Animal Aerobics

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

Cardio? How am I supposed to incorporate cardio?

We're thinking about taking a dance class. You two should join us. How about square dancing? Not with this physique. You can't stick a round body into a square dance. Maybe salsa dancing? No, whenever I do anything with salsa I get a big mess. Ballet is also on our list. That's absurd. I'll tiptoe around that idea. And there's belly dancing! No, thanks, I get plenty of belly dancing every time I go up or down the stairs.

Broadband developments

'The only exercise I'm getting is when I run amok.'

"That's no double chin — that's a snowball!"

Davy Crocket power walks into history.

Fast food

Phone buff.