Fitness Fan With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Old Karate Master

Large lady holding helium balloons while weighing herself.

'Health farm' Free all radicals

Ironically, young Charles Darwin fails gym.

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

We're thinking about taking a dance class. You two should join us. How about square dancing? Not with this physique. You can't stick a round body into a square dance. Maybe salsa dancing? No, whenever I do anything with salsa I get a big mess. Ballet is also on our list. That's absurd. I'll tiptoe around that idea. And there's belly dancing! No, thanks, I get plenty of belly dancing every time I go up or down the stairs.

Volunteer Manoeuvres.

'Have you ever considered taking up sumo wrestling?'

'Celebrity fitness video.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Banana Yoga

Health

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

Gym. It took him forever to find one with a cup holder. Beer.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Check out my six pack.

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

'Like it'll do any good.'

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

Snowman with tree-trunk arms.

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Muscle Music.

'Nice! But I call that the 'incredibly impossible forward bend'!'