Fitness Funny Gifts

"I'm beached body ready."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Jeff was watching his weight.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Pontius Pilates

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?