Fitness Funny Gifts

"I'm beached body ready."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Bench Press Accident

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Jeff was watching his weight.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!