Fitness Funnyman Gifts

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Bench Press Accident

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

Hey, what happened to the rule about running in the house?

Health

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

"Still on your left."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?