Humorist On Fitness Culture Gifts

SoullessCycle

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Bench Press Accident

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Please seat to be weighted.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Pontius Pilates

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Tred carefully mill.

'No peeking!!' - Learn to Run Classes.

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

Check out my six pack.

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."