Fitness Jokesters T-Shirts

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

Keep Fit.

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Still on your left."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'I'm pretty sure this thing wasn't a @$#%& health hazard when I was drying my underwear on it!'

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

"It's improv night."

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

Gym. Trainer. What's with this "burning calories"? Why can't we just lightly toast them?

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'