Diet Jokers Gifts

'Ill have the salad. But could I have it made out of chocolate?'

No thank you, I'm allergic to chocolate. It makes me break out in pounds.

'Don't worry dear. This is diet coke.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

'I'll have the diet special followed by a triple helping of chocolate sponge cake.'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

"But is it Organic?"

"Easy on the carbs, Carl."